If You Can't Be Good, Be Careful

Summers in the fifties, Grandpa Way down the Jersey Shore You blew that trumpet at the pavilion While the dance band shook the floor Now you tap out every horn part On the kitchen table, loud and clear That old horn still gives us an earful If you can't be good, be careful

Forty years with the Alley Cats Same old team, and you're still game Sunday in the seventy-nine Buick Five miles under, just the same Rolling off to Mass so slowly Every car behind you hears you Keeping that right foot nice and prayerful If you can't be good, be careful

After Sunday dinner, deal the cards We've played since I was six Gin rummy, and you still cheat Like I don't know your tricks

Every phone call ends the same way In that voice I'd know anywhere "Be good, and if you can't be good, be careful" Then click, you're out of there Ninety's coming next month, Grandpa And I'm the one in charge this year So I'm planning loud and keeping it cheerful If you can't be good, be careful

So get up out of that seat now Let the horns call your name Sal, you once played the boardwalk swing Now it's yours to dance again

Ninety years of trumpet, Grandpa Ninety years of being you You cheat at cards and drive too slow Bowl with the Cats like you still do So dance with me, the horns are swinging Show me how the boardwalk moved Be good at ninety? Oh, I'm doubtful If you can't be good, be careful

Now go on, Grandpa, take the floor